The Move

Nick was discharged from Resurrection Hospital and was moved to Holy Family Hospital in Des Plaines.  You would think the move would be somewhat uneventful since Nick has been stable now for a week but nope, that wasn’t the case.  Poor Nick really didn’t like the ride over.  He basically had a panic attack. His blood pressure was so high and his heart rate was so high that we had to divert to the emergency room over at Lutheran General where in the ambulance he was administered drugs to stop his blood pressure rising.  Thank all that is good in the world it worked, but it was touch and go for a bit and I was in the front seat of the ambulance not being able to get to Nick.  It was horrible.
Before we left I requested two things from the hospital.  Nick’s MRI and his last 3 EEG’s. The neurologist showed me his last one and said Nick’s brain waves are very slow.  It is like he is in a permanent sleep.  Like I said before there are small windows of time where he is present with me.  He will pull back on his arm when I pull it and he will raise his leg to adjust himself and he will focus on my face and one of my recent favorites is when I kiss his forehead over and over he jerks away from me.  He used to do that when he was regular 23 year old Nick.
This is how all his EEG’s read:
“This record shows a marked diffuse of slow wave abnormality indicating a severe generalized neurophysiologic disturbance. No epileptiform discharges were seen. “

Basically Nicks’ brain isn’t firing and we need it to fire in order for him to come back to us in any way shape or form.  
The new neurologist at this hospital has said its up to us his family to do what we can to bring him back.  They have done what they could do besides monitor him. We need to make connections for him that are familiar.  His music, our voices, his favorite sport team, stories and smells.  If any of you in his past, friends, girlfriends, co-workers anyone want to help in this way you can record a story about you all and send them to us.  We will put it on the iPod so he can listen.  His sister Emily has been reading a story just from her voice memo on her iPhone and then sending them to us and we load onto the iPod.  If you are one of his fellow band mates or have played guitar with him before record the song and send it to me and I will load it on the iPod.

My email address is

We only have the next 30 days to wake him up and I can’t even imagine what I need to do next if that doesn’t happen.
Lastly, I will say one thing.  About 25 years ago I was at Inspiration Cafe getting ready for the day.  A man walked in and said he came to give me a Our lady of Guadalupe pin.  I didn’t know the man at all.  He said it was the pin for protection of unborn children.  I didn’t have children at the time so I just thought it was a very sweet gesture.  One week later I found out I was pregnant.  It was quite astounding.  I have kept that pin and yesterday pinned it on my jacket on the inside as my own personal protection.  When I was leaving the hospital and I was in the hallway all alone I found a 10 foot Our lady of Guadalupe on the wall.  I held out the pin next to the picture and it is the exact one.  I realized that I just have to turn this all over to god.  One who is way bigger than my tiny mind and just let things be as they are at this moment.  Just live this moment. This very moment and I hope that all of you do too.